I know I'm getting carried away with this list comprehension topic, but I'm finding it a lot of fun to see what else I can do with list comprehension. It also matches my other favorite topic (for another day) of slicking and indexing. You will see some of it here. What I'm doing here is exploring more ways of doing list comprehension. I''m sure most of you know how to work with dictionaries.
Create a dictionary:
>>> D = {'a': 'aardvark', 'b': 'bear', 'c': 'cat', 'd': 'dog', 'e': 'elephant', 'f': 'fox', 'g': 'giraffe', 'h': 'hippo', 'i': 'insect'}
List comprehensions on a dictionary are a little more complicated than a list, but it's fairly easy.
>>> [x for x in D]
['a', 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e', 'f', 'g', 'h', 'i']
>>> [x for x in D.values()]
['aardvark', 'bear', 'cat', 'dog', 'elephant', 'fox', 'giraffe', 'hippo', 'insect']
Edited later:
>>> [x for x in D.items()]
[('a', 'apple'), ('b', 'balloon'), ('c', 'cat'), ('d', 'dog'), ('e', 'elephant'), ('f', ['fox'])]
>>> [x for x in D.items() if x[1] == 'elephant']
[('e', 'elephant')] # In this case, it sliced by element. Use x[0] to scan the keys.
You can use either .items() or .iteritems() to get key, value pairs,
Back to original post:
Say I want to get the last letter of each item in my dictionary values:
>>> [x[-1:] for x in D.values()]
['k', 'r', 't', 'g', 't', 'x', 'e', 'o', 't']
How about filtering:
# Get the elements where the last letter matches 't'.
>>> [x for x in D.values() if x[-1:] == 't']
['cat', 'elephant', 'insect']
As you see, slicing comes in handy with coding list comprehensions.
An earlier post, I eexplored how the dir() function can really be useful. Here's a little expansion on that topic:
>>> import os
>>> dir(os)
>>> len(dir(os))
110
I realized you really don't need a .startswith() or .endswith() call in a list comprehension to find matching elements. Just slice away!
Filter by first letter:
>>> [x for x in dir(os) if x[0] == 'e']
['environ', 'errno', 'error', 'extsep']
Outside of a list comprehensiuon, you would have to do this to get the first letter of an element.
>>> dir(os)[41]
'environ'
>>> dir(os)[41][0]
'e'
In the list comprehension, I didn't have to. Why? Because x already indexes the list, so I'm slicing each element to return any string beginning with 'e'.
If you need to know the index numbers to process later, you could:
>>> [dir(os).index(x) for x in dir(os) if x[0] == 'e']
[41, 42, 43, 44]
>>> [(dir(os).index(x),x) for x in dir(os) if x[0] == 'e']
[(41, 'environ'), (42, 'errno'), (43, 'error'), (44, 'extsep')]
As I've mentioned before, thinking a list comprehension through is simply a matter of putting the result you want first, then building the list comprehension to reach your result, as you can see in the example above. Now you have index intergers for all the elements beginning with 'e' from the list.
It's not necessary to use the keyword print inside the interactive session, but if you put a list comprehension in a script and need to show your result, put print before the list comprehension (e.g. print [x for ...])
I know there are programmers out there who are smareter and more experienced than me. As you see, I'm a quick learner and I relish the opportunity to continue learning.
I'm not shoinw off at all. Instead, I view this as a way to prod you and your ideas, so you can achieve your own success and sense of satisfaction at having done it. I am limited in my hearing and eyesight, but it doesn't stop me from doing what I can and stay busy in what I really enjoy.
Until later, happy coding!
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Friday, December 15, 2017
Jython: Comprehending list comprehensions
This time, I'd like to discuss list comprehension. This is another tool used in Python and Jython. It's a very concise way of stepping through a list or a string, and processing information. You can build list comprehensions from the very basic to a complicated expression.
In an earlier post, I demonstrated a list comprehension at work with the dir() function, in returning information.
Here is a basic list comprehendion and they are enclosed in square brackets:
[expression for variable in sequence [if test-expression]]
test-expression is optional.
Let's see it in action:
>>>[x for x in ['one', 'two', 'three']]
['one', 'two', 'three']
To make it clear in my mind, I think of the first expression as the result I want, and build a list comprehension from that. Like so:
>>> [x.upper() for x in ['one', 'two', 'three']]
['ONE', 'TWO', 'THREE']
How about this?
>>> [x.startswith('t') for x in ['one', 'two', 'thre']]
[False, True, True]
It even does boolean expressions.
>>> a = 'ABC'
>>> word = ['Apple', 'Bird', 'Cat']
>>> [(x, y) for x in a for y in word if y.startswith(x)]
[('A', 'Apple'), ('B', 'Bird'), ('C', 'Cat')]
The above is an example of a nested list comprehension with an if test-expression. You noticed the result was list of tuples. You can put the result into a variable and print only what you need.
>>> result = [(x, y) for x in a for y in word if y.startswith(x)]
>>> result[0][1] <<< here I indexed the tuple
'Apple'
>>> result
[('A', 'Apple'), ('B', 'Bird'), ('C', 'Cat')]
Or this:
>>> [x for (x, y) in result]
['A', 'B', 'C']
List comprehension can process files.
>>> [x for x in open('/home/patrick/script2.py')]
['import sys\n', 'print(sys.path)\n', 'x = 2\n', 'print(x ** 32)\n', '\n']
If you are using list comprehension in a script, and you want to show the results on the screen, just put the print before the list comprehension.
>>>print [x for x in open('/home/patrick/script2.py')]
['import sys\n', 'print(sys.path)\n', 'x = 2\n', 'print(x ** 32)\n', '\n']
Can you make a complex list comprehension? You can, with some work.
I was working on the Java class GregorianCalendar. I wanted to see if my system could disply other languages. So, I used the getAvailableLocales() method. However, this method returned a list of objects, not strings. I wanted to search for a particular county, by searching a partial string, but coudln't as U got an error saying x was not in the list.
As a workaround, I had to convert it to a string to search and have it return the index of the list element.. So, my original loop went like this:
for x in range(len(locale)):
t = str(locale[x])
if t.endswith('US'):
subloc.append(locale[x])
After 3 hours or so, I was able to build a list comprehension that worked exactly as my loop:
subloc = [locale[x[0]] for x in enumerate(map(str, locale)) if x[1].endswith('US')]
Can you see how I did it? I will discuss enumerate() another day.
Is this really the Pythonic way? Maybe not, but list comprehension, when successful does marvel at the conciseness and simplicity of this powerful language.
List comprehensions allow Python/Jython do the work for you. This minimizes development time and is a great benefit of this language.
If you would like to see the full script, email me at psykiatris@gmail.com.
Till next time. Happy coding!
In an earlier post, I demonstrated a list comprehension at work with the dir() function, in returning information.
Here is a basic list comprehendion and they are enclosed in square brackets:
[expression for variable in sequence [if test-expression]]
test-expression is optional.
Let's see it in action:
>>>[x for x in ['one', 'two', 'three']]
['one', 'two', 'three']
To make it clear in my mind, I think of the first expression as the result I want, and build a list comprehension from that. Like so:
>>> [x.upper() for x in ['one', 'two', 'three']]
['ONE', 'TWO', 'THREE']
How about this?
>>> [x.startswith('t') for x in ['one', 'two', 'thre']]
[False, True, True]
It even does boolean expressions.
>>> a = 'ABC'
>>> word = ['Apple', 'Bird', 'Cat']
>>> [(x, y) for x in a for y in word if y.startswith(x)]
[('A', 'Apple'), ('B', 'Bird'), ('C', 'Cat')]
The above is an example of a nested list comprehension with an if test-expression. You noticed the result was list of tuples. You can put the result into a variable and print only what you need.
>>> result = [(x, y) for x in a for y in word if y.startswith(x)]
>>> result[0][1] <<< here I indexed the tuple
'Apple'
>>> result
[('A', 'Apple'), ('B', 'Bird'), ('C', 'Cat')]
Or this:
>>> [x for (x, y) in result]
['A', 'B', 'C']
List comprehension can process files.
>>> [x for x in open('/home/patrick/script2.py')]
['import sys\n', 'print(sys.path)\n', 'x = 2\n', 'print(x ** 32)\n', '\n']
If you are using list comprehension in a script, and you want to show the results on the screen, just put the print before the list comprehension.
>>>print [x for x in open('/home/patrick/script2.py')]
['import sys\n', 'print(sys.path)\n', 'x = 2\n', 'print(x ** 32)\n', '\n']
Can you make a complex list comprehension? You can, with some work.
I was working on the Java class GregorianCalendar. I wanted to see if my system could disply other languages. So, I used the getAvailableLocales() method. However, this method returned a list of objects, not strings. I wanted to search for a particular county, by searching a partial string, but coudln't as U got an error saying x was not in the list.
As a workaround, I had to convert it to a string to search and have it return the index of the list element.. So, my original loop went like this:
for x in range(len(locale)):
t = str(locale[x])
if t.endswith('US'):
subloc.append(locale[x])
After 3 hours or so, I was able to build a list comprehension that worked exactly as my loop:
subloc = [locale[x[0]] for x in enumerate(map(str, locale)) if x[1].endswith('US')]
Can you see how I did it? I will discuss enumerate() another day.
Is this really the Pythonic way? Maybe not, but list comprehension, when successful does marvel at the conciseness and simplicity of this powerful language.
List comprehensions allow Python/Jython do the work for you. This minimizes development time and is a great benefit of this language.
If you would like to see the full script, email me at psykiatris@gmail.com.
Till next time. Happy coding!
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Jython: Using dir() to find Java classes
Today's post is on how to use the dir() function to see what classes and methods are in a Java package.
The dir() function is a very powerful tool you can use to find out information about a Java package. I will demonstrate some useful hints to help you.
When working with Java, you had to use the Reflection class to find out what classes and methods were available. In Jython, it is a lot easier.
For my system, my Java packages are stored in the /usr/share/java/ folder. I use Ubuntu 16.04. So I picked the following package to work with: /usr/share/java/bcprov.jar. Any jar file will work if you don't have this particular package.
First, I took a quick peek at the jar file list, by typing (in a terminal): jar -tf /usr/share/java/bcprov.jar. jar is the app that willunpack a jar file. The -tf switch retrieves a list of files in the named package. So, my output was:
org/
org/bouncycastle/
org/bouncycastle/LICENSE.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/BZip2Constants.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2InputStream.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2OutputStream$1.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2OutputStream$StackElem.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2OutputStream.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CRC.class
org/bouncycastle/asn1/
org/bouncycastle/asn1/A
--------The rest omitted for space----------
As you see, this jar file contains a lot of classes and methods. It would take forever to go through and find what you want. The dir() built-in really comes in handy, as we'll see later.
Now that I know the top two levels of the package list, I can now open up my Jython interactive environment (for immediate results).
You must specify the filename along with the path, or it will not import. So, I entered this:
>>> import sys
>>> sys.path.append('/usr/share/java/bcprov.jar')
I'm ready to start importing the jar package. I start off with import org.bouncycastle. Then I type dir(org.bouncycastle), and I get:
>>> import org.bouncycastle
>>> dir(org.bouncycastle)
['LICENSE', '__name__', 'asn1', 'cert', 'cmc', 'cms', 'crypto', 'dvcs', 'eac', 'est', 'i18n', 'iana', 'jcajce', 'jce', 'math', 'mozilla', 'openssl', 'operator', 'pkcs', 'pkix', 'pqc', 'tsp', 'util', 'voms', 'x509']
You probably noticed that this list displayed above did not show the apache (we saw this in the partial file list shown earlier. That's okay. You can import specifically by typing import org.bouncycastle.apache. But let's do the math package. So, we would type import org.bouncycastle.math as math.
The AS keyword allows you to assign an alias to the item you just importedSp., . So, instead of tying 'org.bouncycastle (and so on), now you can do type dir(math) and see a list.
>>> import org.bouncycastle.math as math
>>> dir(math)
['Primes', '__name__', 'ec', 'field', 'raw']
You see four things under the .math sib[aclage. The names in lower case are other subpackages. You still need to type the qualified package tree to import. One way you can type it is: 'from org.bouncycastle.math import ec as ec' (without the quotes). What this really does is that it imports only ec whithout importing everything else. This will save on memory.
You notice Primes is capitalized. This is a class. Methods start with a lower case with the next word capitalized. You can import Primes the way we've been doing it, or you can assign it to a name, like this:
>>> primes = math.Primes
What would have happened if I called it with a parentheses, as if I'm instantiating a class?
>>> primes = math.Primes()
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "", line 1, in
TypeError: can't instantiate abstract class (org.bouncycastle.math.Primes)
You would get either the above message, or one that says no constructor is set for that class. If you attempt to call a class with a () pair and you get this error, just try again without the () pair. Then what can you do?
>>> primes = math.Primes
>>> dir(primes)
['MROutput', 'SMALL_FACTOR_LIMIT', 'STOutput', '__class__', '__copy__', '__deepcopy__', '__delattr__', '__doc__', '__ensure_finalizer__', '__eq__', '__format__', '__getattribute__', '__hash__', '__init__', '__ne__', '__new__', '__reduce__', '__reduce_ex__', '__repr__', '__setattr__', '__str__', '__subclasshook__', '__unicode__', 'class', 'enhancedMRProbablePrimeTest', 'equals', 'generateSTRandomPrime', 'getClass', 'hasAnySmallFactors', 'hashCode', 'isMRProbablePrime', 'isMRProbablePrimeToBase', 'notify', 'notifyAll', 'toString', 'wait']
You see all the attributes that are available to Primes. Now, you're getting somewhere! Of course, you may know that the attributes in ALL CAPS are constants.
>>> primes.SMALL_FACTOR_LIMIT
211
Methods, which require parentheses and sometimes 1 or more arguments. That can be researched later, when you review the Java documentation.
But, what if you do a dir() command and it returns a lot of information. What then? This is where list comprehension and indexing really come in handy.
Here I imported the math.ec sub-package:
>>> from org.bouncycastle.math import ec as ec
>>> dir(ec)
['AbstractECMultiplier', 'DoubleAddMultiplier', 'ECAlgorithms', 'ECConstants', 'ECCurve', 'ECFieldElement', 'ECMultiplier', 'ECPoint', 'ECPointMap', 'FixedPointCombMultiplier', 'FixedPointPreCompInfo', 'FixedPointUtil', 'GLVMultiplier', 'MixedNafR2LMultiplier', 'MontgomeryLadderMultiplier', 'NafL2RMultiplier', 'NafR2LMultiplier', 'PreCompInfo', 'ReferenceMultiplier', 'ScaleXPointMap', 'ScaleYPointMap', 'WNafL2RMultiplier', 'WNafPreCompInfo', 'WNafUtil', 'WTauNafMultiplier', 'WTauNafPreCompInfo', 'ZSignedDigitL2RMultiplier', 'ZSignedDigitR2LMultiplier', '__name__', 'custom', 'endo', 'tools']
I can type len(dir(ec) to see how many elements are in the list.
Say I only want to see items starting with 'M'. Here's list comprehension at work:
>>> [x for x in dir(ec) if x.startswith('M')]
['MixedNafR2LMultiplier', 'MontgomeryLadderMultiplier']
You can also index the dir(ec) list:
>>> dir(ec)[4]
'ECCurve'
What if you only want to see the first 10 items from the dir(ec) list? Slicing does the trick:
>>> dir (ec)[0:10]
['AbstractECMultiplier', 'DoubleAddMultiplier', 'ECAlgorithms', 'ECConstants', 'ECCurve', 'ECFieldElement', 'ECMultiplier', 'ECPoint', 'ECPointMap', 'FixedPointCombMultiplier']
So, now you know how the dir() function can help you in finding a class or wmethod within a jar package.
As I continue my journey of learning Jython/Python, I will be sharing what I've learned along the way. I really enjoy this language and its simplicity and powerful abilities. I hope you will too.
Until later, happy coding!
The dir() function is a very powerful tool you can use to find out information about a Java package. I will demonstrate some useful hints to help you.
When working with Java, you had to use the Reflection class to find out what classes and methods were available. In Jython, it is a lot easier.
For my system, my Java packages are stored in the /usr/share/java/ folder. I use Ubuntu 16.04. So I picked the following package to work with: /usr/share/java/bcprov.jar. Any jar file will work if you don't have this particular package.
First, I took a quick peek at the jar file list, by typing (in a terminal): jar -tf /usr/share/java/bcprov.jar. jar is the app that willunpack a jar file. The -tf switch retrieves a list of files in the named package. So, my output was:
org/
org/bouncycastle/
org/bouncycastle/LICENSE.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/BZip2Constants.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2InputStream.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2OutputStream$1.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2OutputStream$StackElem.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CBZip2OutputStream.class
org/bouncycastle/apache/bzip2/CRC.class
org/bouncycastle/asn1/
org/bouncycastle/asn1/A
--------The rest omitted for space----------
As you see, this jar file contains a lot of classes and methods. It would take forever to go through and find what you want. The dir() built-in really comes in handy, as we'll see later.
Now that I know the top two levels of the package list, I can now open up my Jython interactive environment (for immediate results).
You must specify the filename along with the path, or it will not import. So, I entered this:
>>> import sys
>>> sys.path.append('/usr/share/java/bcprov.jar')
I'm ready to start importing the jar package. I start off with import org.bouncycastle. Then I type dir(org.bouncycastle), and I get:
>>> import org.bouncycastle
>>> dir(org.bouncycastle)
['LICENSE', '__name__', 'asn1', 'cert', 'cmc', 'cms', 'crypto', 'dvcs', 'eac', 'est', 'i18n', 'iana', 'jcajce', 'jce', 'math', 'mozilla', 'openssl', 'operator', 'pkcs', 'pkix', 'pqc', 'tsp', 'util', 'voms', 'x509']
You probably noticed that this list displayed above did not show the apache (we saw this in the partial file list shown earlier. That's okay. You can import specifically by typing import org.bouncycastle.apache. But let's do the math package. So, we would type import org.bouncycastle.math as math.
The AS keyword allows you to assign an alias to the item you just importedSp., . So, instead of tying 'org.bouncycastle (and so on), now you can do type dir(math) and see a list.
>>> import org.bouncycastle.math as math
>>> dir(math)
['Primes', '__name__', 'ec', 'field', 'raw']
You see four things under the .math sib[aclage. The names in lower case are other subpackages. You still need to type the qualified package tree to import. One way you can type it is: 'from org.bouncycastle.math import ec as ec' (without the quotes). What this really does is that it imports only ec whithout importing everything else. This will save on memory.
You notice Primes is capitalized. This is a class. Methods start with a lower case with the next word capitalized. You can import Primes the way we've been doing it, or you can assign it to a name, like this:
>>> primes = math.Primes
What would have happened if I called it with a parentheses, as if I'm instantiating a class?
>>> primes = math.Primes()
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "
TypeError: can't instantiate abstract class (org.bouncycastle.math.Primes)
You would get either the above message, or one that says no constructor is set for that class. If you attempt to call a class with a () pair and you get this error, just try again without the () pair. Then what can you do?
>>> primes = math.Primes
>>> dir(primes)
['MROutput', 'SMALL_FACTOR_LIMIT', 'STOutput', '__class__', '__copy__', '__deepcopy__', '__delattr__', '__doc__', '__ensure_finalizer__', '__eq__', '__format__', '__getattribute__', '__hash__', '__init__', '__ne__', '__new__', '__reduce__', '__reduce_ex__', '__repr__', '__setattr__', '__str__', '__subclasshook__', '__unicode__', 'class', 'enhancedMRProbablePrimeTest', 'equals', 'generateSTRandomPrime', 'getClass', 'hasAnySmallFactors', 'hashCode', 'isMRProbablePrime', 'isMRProbablePrimeToBase', 'notify', 'notifyAll', 'toString', 'wait']
You see all the attributes that are available to Primes. Now, you're getting somewhere! Of course, you may know that the attributes in ALL CAPS are constants.
>>> primes.SMALL_FACTOR_LIMIT
211
Methods, which require parentheses and sometimes 1 or more arguments. That can be researched later, when you review the Java documentation.
But, what if you do a dir() command and it returns a lot of information. What then? This is where list comprehension and indexing really come in handy.
Here I imported the math.ec sub-package:
>>> from org.bouncycastle.math import ec as ec
>>> dir(ec)
['AbstractECMultiplier', 'DoubleAddMultiplier', 'ECAlgorithms', 'ECConstants', 'ECCurve', 'ECFieldElement', 'ECMultiplier', 'ECPoint', 'ECPointMap', 'FixedPointCombMultiplier', 'FixedPointPreCompInfo', 'FixedPointUtil', 'GLVMultiplier', 'MixedNafR2LMultiplier', 'MontgomeryLadderMultiplier', 'NafL2RMultiplier', 'NafR2LMultiplier', 'PreCompInfo', 'ReferenceMultiplier', 'ScaleXPointMap', 'ScaleYPointMap', 'WNafL2RMultiplier', 'WNafPreCompInfo', 'WNafUtil', 'WTauNafMultiplier', 'WTauNafPreCompInfo', 'ZSignedDigitL2RMultiplier', 'ZSignedDigitR2LMultiplier', '__name__', 'custom', 'endo', 'tools']
I can type len(dir(ec) to see how many elements are in the list.
Say I only want to see items starting with 'M'. Here's list comprehension at work:
>>> [x for x in dir(ec) if x.startswith('M')]
['MixedNafR2LMultiplier', 'MontgomeryLadderMultiplier']
You can also index the dir(ec) list:
>>> dir(ec)[4]
'ECCurve'
What if you only want to see the first 10 items from the dir(ec) list? Slicing does the trick:
>>> dir (ec)[0:10]
['AbstractECMultiplier', 'DoubleAddMultiplier', 'ECAlgorithms', 'ECConstants', 'ECCurve', 'ECFieldElement', 'ECMultiplier', 'ECPoint', 'ECPointMap', 'FixedPointCombMultiplier']
So, now you know how the dir() function can help you in finding a class or wmethod within a jar package.
As I continue my journey of learning Jython/Python, I will be sharing what I've learned along the way. I really enjoy this language and its simplicity and powerful abilities. I hope you will too.
Until later, happy coding!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
The Trunk - Pt. 1
With this story, I'd like you, the reader, to tell me how it should end. One providing the best one will be acknowledged as co-writer. No sexual themes, profanity, or gross violence please. Please send submissions to: patrickbp@boydcomputersvcs.com . Thank You.
"Read"
Lately, I've been stuck in the rut of struggle. Not making much money
puts a lot of pressure on one's self-confidence and self-content. I
don't want to be rich, just content with what I have (which is at an
all-time low). I don't need much, I don't desire much. I get up at 6AM
every morning and think about what I can do to feel useful and pay my
bills.
In the last year, I have been losing my vision, This affects my ability to work. I have to take my glasses off and hold my face 6 inches from the screen to read. I can no longer deal with tiny laptop screws or other miniscule parts and bits.
As I work on the computer, I can feel the heat of the monitor burning into my forehead, and I imagine cancer cells forming in my frontal lobe, which affects, of all things, thinking, mood, problem solving and concentration. One day, I might become a zombie.
Maybe that's a good thing, I need to "stir" myself up to actually do something. It's mind-numbing work posting ads for advertisers and trying to get people to buy stuff. The stories of people dropping huge amounts of money to buy things are, to me, irritating. Why? I post ads for stuff that's relatively cheap and people say "Nah." What gives?
To keep myself from being frustrated and stressing out about is (creating more cancerous tumors than I really need), I'm going to (and have been for a few months) falling back on what I love: Reading.
So, occasionally, I will blog a book review of something I have read. It may or may not be a new book. I'm not into non-fiction, so don't look for a treatise on the latest Bruce Jenner tell-all or what Bill Clinton really did in office. Don't expect the latest book to be reviewed.
I pick up books at the thrift store, usually by writers I've read before and respected but occasionally I enjoy trying something new. Right now, I have 19 unread books in a pile by my bed. As I go through them, I will pick out the ones that are worth reading for the characters, the plot development, the clever-ness of the writing, that sort of thing.
Mind you, I'm not James Wood or Jessa Crispin. What I will be is, I guess, a honest type. A person who actually read the book from cover-to-cover. If you don't agree with my views, it's okay. We'll agree to disagreem yet our common ground will be the books we love to read. I certainly hope that I can share something you HAVEN'T read and you can find something worth reading for yourself.
And, of course, please reply and share with me the books you've enjoyed reading and recommend.
If you care to donate, I appreciate it. it will be used in the best way and not for beer or cigarettes. My family thanks you. Let me know and I will give you the particulars. Email is patrickbp@boydcomputersvcs.com
In the last year, I have been losing my vision, This affects my ability to work. I have to take my glasses off and hold my face 6 inches from the screen to read. I can no longer deal with tiny laptop screws or other miniscule parts and bits.
As I work on the computer, I can feel the heat of the monitor burning into my forehead, and I imagine cancer cells forming in my frontal lobe, which affects, of all things, thinking, mood, problem solving and concentration. One day, I might become a zombie.
Maybe that's a good thing, I need to "stir" myself up to actually do something. It's mind-numbing work posting ads for advertisers and trying to get people to buy stuff. The stories of people dropping huge amounts of money to buy things are, to me, irritating. Why? I post ads for stuff that's relatively cheap and people say "Nah." What gives?
To keep myself from being frustrated and stressing out about is (creating more cancerous tumors than I really need), I'm going to (and have been for a few months) falling back on what I love: Reading.
So, occasionally, I will blog a book review of something I have read. It may or may not be a new book. I'm not into non-fiction, so don't look for a treatise on the latest Bruce Jenner tell-all or what Bill Clinton really did in office. Don't expect the latest book to be reviewed.
I pick up books at the thrift store, usually by writers I've read before and respected but occasionally I enjoy trying something new. Right now, I have 19 unread books in a pile by my bed. As I go through them, I will pick out the ones that are worth reading for the characters, the plot development, the clever-ness of the writing, that sort of thing.
Mind you, I'm not James Wood or Jessa Crispin. What I will be is, I guess, a honest type. A person who actually read the book from cover-to-cover. If you don't agree with my views, it's okay. We'll agree to disagreem yet our common ground will be the books we love to read. I certainly hope that I can share something you HAVEN'T read and you can find something worth reading for yourself.
And, of course, please reply and share with me the books you've enjoyed reading and recommend.
If you care to donate, I appreciate it. it will be used in the best way and not for beer or cigarettes. My family thanks you. Let me know and I will give you the particulars. Email is patrickbp@boydcomputersvcs.com
Thursday, June 2, 2011
A boy
One day, I did a job repairing a customer's computer. The customer and his family lived in a very large mobile home park in Orange. The trailers were all crammed together, with tiny carports the only divider between them.
I walked up the spongy steps and in through the open door. He greeted me with a smile, and brought the laptop to the coffee table in the living room, where two boys were doing their school work. One was wearing a shirt, the other was not. He asked them to move, so they moved their sheets of paper to the floor and continued working. I didn't really look at them, as I was occupied with the laptop, getting the necessary tools to work on it.
As I worked, one of the boys, the shirtless one, stood by me and watched me with interest. I was looking down, and as he was at my left, I saw just a flesh-colored blob (I have little to no sight in my left eye). He asked me questions on what I was doing, and I answered them, while unscrewing the many screws that held the bottom of the laptop together. I told him that the computer wasn't working right, and that I was there to replace a part. I showed him the fan, and then looked at him. In fact, both were now watching me, and they looked like they were twins, or pretty close in age.
The boy with no shirt had no arms. On the left side, out of his torso, a single finger protruded. Only the nib though. Part of the shoulder bone could be seen. On his right side, it appeared as if someone had glued a plastic glove to him. All five fingers stuck out, as if offering a handshake. The fingers were opaque, and you could see that there was no bones within. With each movement of his body, the fingers flapped and waved. The thumb was pointed skyward, as if giving the okay, that everything was alright.
My heart sank at seeing this sight. But I still talked to him. His name was Ernesto, he was in 4th grade. He enjoyed school, and he liked math. We had a nice conversation going. Over his shoulder, I could see his father watching us, with a benevolent smile on his face. He seemed proud that his boys were smart. The father calmly told the boys to go back to their schoolwork, as he felt they were bothering me. The boys picked up their pencils, one with his hand, the other with his foot and went back to their work in progress.
As I left, I tried to talk to the father about a hope for the future. A hope that would see the boy with no arms seeing his hands, being able to catch and throw, to craft and to create, to draw, to play music. But the father was not interested in what the Bible had to say. I hoped the boy would learn the truth later, to make his own decision. If not, I hoped Jehovah would extend mercy to this boy, and give him a second chance.
I walked up the spongy steps and in through the open door. He greeted me with a smile, and brought the laptop to the coffee table in the living room, where two boys were doing their school work. One was wearing a shirt, the other was not. He asked them to move, so they moved their sheets of paper to the floor and continued working. I didn't really look at them, as I was occupied with the laptop, getting the necessary tools to work on it.
As I worked, one of the boys, the shirtless one, stood by me and watched me with interest. I was looking down, and as he was at my left, I saw just a flesh-colored blob (I have little to no sight in my left eye). He asked me questions on what I was doing, and I answered them, while unscrewing the many screws that held the bottom of the laptop together. I told him that the computer wasn't working right, and that I was there to replace a part. I showed him the fan, and then looked at him. In fact, both were now watching me, and they looked like they were twins, or pretty close in age.
The boy with no shirt had no arms. On the left side, out of his torso, a single finger protruded. Only the nib though. Part of the shoulder bone could be seen. On his right side, it appeared as if someone had glued a plastic glove to him. All five fingers stuck out, as if offering a handshake. The fingers were opaque, and you could see that there was no bones within. With each movement of his body, the fingers flapped and waved. The thumb was pointed skyward, as if giving the okay, that everything was alright.
My heart sank at seeing this sight. But I still talked to him. His name was Ernesto, he was in 4th grade. He enjoyed school, and he liked math. We had a nice conversation going. Over his shoulder, I could see his father watching us, with a benevolent smile on his face. He seemed proud that his boys were smart. The father calmly told the boys to go back to their schoolwork, as he felt they were bothering me. The boys picked up their pencils, one with his hand, the other with his foot and went back to their work in progress.
As I left, I tried to talk to the father about a hope for the future. A hope that would see the boy with no arms seeing his hands, being able to catch and throw, to craft and to create, to draw, to play music. But the father was not interested in what the Bible had to say. I hoped the boy would learn the truth later, to make his own decision. If not, I hoped Jehovah would extend mercy to this boy, and give him a second chance.
The Jacuzzi project
When I was a child, my parents had decided they wanted a jacuzzi. So, one day we all piled into our cute, red AMC Gremlin and puttered off on “a trip,” my father said.
We drove two blocks to a huge jacuzzi store, that advertised a “blowout sale!” We entered and oohed and aahed at the huge jacuzzis, sitting on their sides (I guess because they didn't want people sitting in them). A salesman came up to my parents and started his spiel.
Me and my brother, three years younger than I, saw a stack of books on a coffee table next to an ottoman. So, we went over there to amuse ourselves.
The books were catalogs, but they were large, not very thick. They looked like those big National Geographic books with information and panoramic pictures of places like the Serengeti, or the majesty of the Swiss Alps. Of course, I assumed they had information because when I read those, because I only read them for the pictures.
I grabbed one, and with my brother sitting next to me, opened it across our laps. Yes, it was that big, or we were pretty small, I don't remember. The catalog contained pictures of jacuzzis, obviously, in various settings, filled with water and happy, smiling, nude people. Here was one possibly set in Aspen, the snow on the ground, the view of the mountains behind and nude people. Here was one in a rainforest, with huge trees in the background, a monkey swinging from a tree and nude people. Another one in Holland, with a dike behind with the sea and terns flying fuzzily in the distance and nude people. Another one possibly in Malibu with the ocean and the sun setting in the background and tanned nude people.
I don't remember how old I was, but I knew it was before puberty smacked me in the face and made me realize that women were …. special creatures to be misunderstood and who would mystify and befuddle me to this day.
You could tell the man was naked because his back was always to the camera, yet you could see the crack of his buttocks. The woman, if she sat in the jacuzzi, always miraculously had the waterline about an inch below her breasts. (Pretty tall women, I had thought) Or she was shown slinking into or out of the jacuzzi, with legs bent in a demure way to cover up. I had read National Geographic articles about different African tribes, so it was nothing new to me.
My father was discussing a hot tub model with the salesman. My mom was getting bored of the banter, and looked over at us, slowly turning the pages of the catalog. She came over to see what had our rapt attention, looked and shrieked.
My brother and I never set foot in a jacuzzi showroom again. They made us wait in the car.
My father, after trips to showroom after showroom, was getting frustrated at finding that the jacuzzis he wanted were too large for the very small house we lived in. It was even too large for the very small yard that came with the house. So, a light bulb burned steadily over his head as he told his family that he was going to build our very own jacuzzi.
So the project began in the only bathroom we had in the house. We took showers at our grandfather's house (he lived behind us in the duplex we lived in) as my father labored over the jacuzzi. Gone was the standard bathtub, in went the tile. We couldn't see what he was doing. He had the door shut constantly, and when he would come out, he commanded us not to peek behind the plastic curtain he taped up.
When he was done, he proudly showed us his handiwork. The jacuzzi was deep, maybe three feet. It looked cavernous to me, young as I was. You had to step down into it, using the seat as a stair. It had jets to bubble the water and look like a jacuzzi. The tile was in various shades of brown, half an inch by an inch in size. Yes, it was a lot of tile, almost like a mosaic. I looked at all that brown and thought he should have made a picture of something at the bottom of the jacuzzi, to look at. My mother marveled, my young brother was scared (he thought he was going to trip, fall in and break his neck; I hoped he would), and I was still wondering how to take a shower in that thing.
I don't think the jacuzzi was ever used. It took forever for the thing to fill up with water. At least, I never used it as a jacuzzi, because whenever I took a bath, everyone else in the house seemed to bang on the door within 5 minutes of my getting in, yelling at me to get out.
My parents probably used it, after my brother and I had gone to bed. They may have filled it up with hot water, got in and relaxed, letting the trouble and trauma of raising two hellish boys melt away. I think that's what they did.
If anyone stayed with us, it was always a source of entertainment. My father would never tell them about the jacuzzi. They would go into the bathroom, disrobe and pull the curtain expecting a normal bathtub and instead look down on the Grand Canyon of jacuzzis. Then they would enrobe, come out and ask, “How do you turn the shower on?” This made my father proud as he excitedly showed them how the thing worked.
I eventually liked the jacuzzi, as the shower head was one of those pulsating ones, that you could remove. I had to stand on the seat to remove it, but it was alright.
When we moved away from the house, the tenants-to-be looked at the Grand Canyon and told my father they weren't interested in it. So he labored to put the bathroom as it were, with a boring bathtub. The various shades of brown with flecks of gold tile was gone, the custom jacuzzi never to be seen or built again.
Thus began my father's work in tile and the end of this story.
We drove two blocks to a huge jacuzzi store, that advertised a “blowout sale!” We entered and oohed and aahed at the huge jacuzzis, sitting on their sides (I guess because they didn't want people sitting in them). A salesman came up to my parents and started his spiel.
Me and my brother, three years younger than I, saw a stack of books on a coffee table next to an ottoman. So, we went over there to amuse ourselves.
The books were catalogs, but they were large, not very thick. They looked like those big National Geographic books with information and panoramic pictures of places like the Serengeti, or the majesty of the Swiss Alps. Of course, I assumed they had information because when I read those, because I only read them for the pictures.
I grabbed one, and with my brother sitting next to me, opened it across our laps. Yes, it was that big, or we were pretty small, I don't remember. The catalog contained pictures of jacuzzis, obviously, in various settings, filled with water and happy, smiling, nude people. Here was one possibly set in Aspen, the snow on the ground, the view of the mountains behind and nude people. Here was one in a rainforest, with huge trees in the background, a monkey swinging from a tree and nude people. Another one in Holland, with a dike behind with the sea and terns flying fuzzily in the distance and nude people. Another one possibly in Malibu with the ocean and the sun setting in the background and tanned nude people.
I don't remember how old I was, but I knew it was before puberty smacked me in the face and made me realize that women were …. special creatures to be misunderstood and who would mystify and befuddle me to this day.
You could tell the man was naked because his back was always to the camera, yet you could see the crack of his buttocks. The woman, if she sat in the jacuzzi, always miraculously had the waterline about an inch below her breasts. (Pretty tall women, I had thought) Or she was shown slinking into or out of the jacuzzi, with legs bent in a demure way to cover up. I had read National Geographic articles about different African tribes, so it was nothing new to me.
My father was discussing a hot tub model with the salesman. My mom was getting bored of the banter, and looked over at us, slowly turning the pages of the catalog. She came over to see what had our rapt attention, looked and shrieked.
My brother and I never set foot in a jacuzzi showroom again. They made us wait in the car.
My father, after trips to showroom after showroom, was getting frustrated at finding that the jacuzzis he wanted were too large for the very small house we lived in. It was even too large for the very small yard that came with the house. So, a light bulb burned steadily over his head as he told his family that he was going to build our very own jacuzzi.
So the project began in the only bathroom we had in the house. We took showers at our grandfather's house (he lived behind us in the duplex we lived in) as my father labored over the jacuzzi. Gone was the standard bathtub, in went the tile. We couldn't see what he was doing. He had the door shut constantly, and when he would come out, he commanded us not to peek behind the plastic curtain he taped up.
When he was done, he proudly showed us his handiwork. The jacuzzi was deep, maybe three feet. It looked cavernous to me, young as I was. You had to step down into it, using the seat as a stair. It had jets to bubble the water and look like a jacuzzi. The tile was in various shades of brown, half an inch by an inch in size. Yes, it was a lot of tile, almost like a mosaic. I looked at all that brown and thought he should have made a picture of something at the bottom of the jacuzzi, to look at. My mother marveled, my young brother was scared (he thought he was going to trip, fall in and break his neck; I hoped he would), and I was still wondering how to take a shower in that thing.
I don't think the jacuzzi was ever used. It took forever for the thing to fill up with water. At least, I never used it as a jacuzzi, because whenever I took a bath, everyone else in the house seemed to bang on the door within 5 minutes of my getting in, yelling at me to get out.
My parents probably used it, after my brother and I had gone to bed. They may have filled it up with hot water, got in and relaxed, letting the trouble and trauma of raising two hellish boys melt away. I think that's what they did.
If anyone stayed with us, it was always a source of entertainment. My father would never tell them about the jacuzzi. They would go into the bathroom, disrobe and pull the curtain expecting a normal bathtub and instead look down on the Grand Canyon of jacuzzis. Then they would enrobe, come out and ask, “How do you turn the shower on?” This made my father proud as he excitedly showed them how the thing worked.
I eventually liked the jacuzzi, as the shower head was one of those pulsating ones, that you could remove. I had to stand on the seat to remove it, but it was alright.
When we moved away from the house, the tenants-to-be looked at the Grand Canyon and told my father they weren't interested in it. So he labored to put the bathroom as it were, with a boring bathtub. The various shades of brown with flecks of gold tile was gone, the custom jacuzzi never to be seen or built again.
Thus began my father's work in tile and the end of this story.
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